Irony (post by jessi)

In summer 2012, I met with Maternal Fetal Medicine at Fletcher Allen Health Care to discuss my reproductive options.  Aside from a 30% - 60% chance of death, I would probably be very sick in the second and third trimesters, spend most of my time at the hospital being monitored or worse, on bed rest at the hospital. Even if I didn’t die during (or soon after) pregnancy, I would have a very small and/or premature baby with high medical needs.  Talk about being scared straight! 

Fast forward exactly 2 years and 3 days and I find myself in the same examination room at FAHC discussing our small baby.  Ahhhh, the irony! 

As you already know, the prognosis is great for both Maggie and BGJ.  Our OB thinks she’s conditionally small – meaning she’d be small even without an SUA.  We’re not giant people, Benny and I, and there’s a lot of diminutiveness on both sides of our families.  But because of the umbilical cord anomaly, we need a monitoring plan to confirm that BGJ does not go into distress.  Our first weekly monitoring appointment was this past Monday and all is well.  1 down, 8 more to go.  That’s in addition to the regular OB checkups at Maitri, which brings us up to 2 appointments per week until BGJ arrives.  Oy!        

With each appointment to check on BJG, I’m less anxious and more confident that everything is going to be just fine – for everyone.  This situation is completely out of our control and nothing that Maggie does (or doesn’t do) will affect the outcome – just so long as she doesn’t pick up smoking cigarettes or crack.  Of all the pregnancy complications to choose from, (and I’m not really sure complication is the correct term in this context) an SUA is one of the least scary to research with Dr Google.  If you've consulted Dr Google for any medical information, you  know that that speaks volumes! 

A benefit of gestational surrogacy with a BFF is that I could vicariously experience pregnancy through Maggie.  Aside from the fetal echocardiogram to make sure BGJ didn’t inherit my heart defect, I assumed we’d follow a predictable care schedule with just two ultrasounds and then somewhere around 40 weeks Maggie would go into labor and deliver.  There wouldn’t be dozens of appointments and consults with various specialties or the weight of worrying about my health or the health of the baby. I looked forward to a smooth, text book maternity experience as well as the opportunity to see just how those healthy people without chronic conditions had a baby without modern medicine being all up in your face.   

And here’s my point to all this rambling:  How ironic is it that instead of living vicariously through Maggie, she is now getting a small taste of what the pregnancy could’ve been like for me?

Mind blown.

 

Although, there’s a HUGE upside to all of this third trimester attention:  Tons and tons of looks at BGJ.  For your viewing pleasure:



 

 

P.S. Our last ultrasound technician was super fun and tried to get us a 3-D profile or face shot of BGJ but to no surprise, this little one is a strong willed Scorpio who's not a fan of the ultrasound waves so all we got was a weird ear shot.  I'll spare you that image.  Well-played, BGJ.