Saturday before the membrane sweep, Benny and I went to our friends 40th birthday party in Underhill where AT&T service is practically nonexistent. I instructed Maggie to contact the host of the party in case she needed to reach me. While there, I finally decided (with some help from my friends) that it was time to assign Maggie a special text tone. We picked out the most loud, obnoxious tone available – it sounds like a pinball machine on crack.
As Maggie had mentioned in her birth story post, the
induction process started on Monday, November 3rd. And yes, I was sitting in the corner while
the midwife scraped her fingers between the cervix wall and amniotic sac. This was our first real experience with birth pain during the pregnancy. I imagined it must’ve felt like the most
horrible pain in the world. I had
flashbacks to the pain I experienced while having my first IUD placed and
couldn’t help but hold my breath during the 10 second countdown. It’s what I would’ve done if it were me on
the exam table. Maggie says it was no
big deal, but I’m pretty sure that’s because she has the pain tolerance of a super
ninja warrior.
Later that evening, the screeching pinball machine noise
went off and Maggie let us know that she had a couple of contractions about 20
minutes apart; it could be nothing or it could be early labor. She suggested we try to get some rest now
because if the contractions become more productive, it would be in the middle
of the night. Following her suggestion, Ben
and I went to bed immediately after this text exchange. As you already know by now, the contractions
stopped and then showed up again on Thursday but eventually petered out again
that evening. After an entire week of
going to bed early and sleeping lightly with my phone two inches from my head it
was finally induction day.
Benny and I headed to the hospital Friday morning. When we arrived, Nurse Karen greeted us,
showed us to our birthing room and commented about how we could be there for
days. Benny and I looked at each other in
shock because up to this point, no one had ever told us that the induction could
take days. Maggie and Jim showed
up quickly thereafter and assured Nurse Karen that “No, it would not take
days. I’m already 5cm.” The look on Karen’s face told me she was
still skeptical.
Due to our unique situation, the hospital was flexible about
the number of people allowed in the room.
Naturally, we took advantage of this and invited Kacie from Mini MiPhotography to help document the day for us.
For the next 3 hours or so, we hung out in the birthing room snacking,
looking out from our 5th floor window, watching rain turn to snow
and then back to rain again. We took
turns leaving the room (only 2 at a time, per Nurse Karen), visited the kitchen
for refreshments, watched funny YouTube videos and passed the time with
lighthearted small talk. Eventually, we
got bored and since none of the labor-inducing antics had jumpstarted activity,
we agreed to try the vitamin P.
Just as Nurse Karen was about to start the pit drip, she
discovered that Maggie’s IV wasn’t flowing as smoothly as she’d like. Karen
decided to put another IV in, this time in the hand opposite from where all the
medical equipment was. The IV lines
were now across her body, complicating her positioning as well as each move in
and out of the bed. I began to quietly panic
thinking that the new IV wouldn’t flow nicely either. Would
they have to stick her yet again? What
if the vitamin P doesn’t go as planned?
What if this turns into an emergency situation? Why is my imagination running wild? There's no time to think rationally. Everybody panic!
Just like Maggie’s account, the contractions started but at
first they were mild. At least, that’s
what the monitors on her belly were showing.
The contraction monitor was placed up high on her belly because Nurse
Karen needed to measure how the top of her uterus was squeezing – because technically,
they’re supposed to start up high in order to push the baby down. The problem was, however, that Maggie wasn’t
experiencing the contractions up high but down low instead. I remember staring at the monitor each time
she had a contraction and the disappointment I felt when the lines barely moved. I cannot even begin to describe how
frustrating it was to watch the pain of contractions not register appropriately
on the monitoring equipment. As some
time passed and the contractions became more uncomfortable to sit through, Maggie
decided to walk through her contractions so she and Jim headed to the hallway. Benny, Kacie and I remained in the room and I
began peppering Kacie (who’s had 3 children) with questions. “How long could Maggie have contractions 2-3
minutes apart?” I asked. She replied, “Hours, it could go on for hours.” Suddenly, I felt so very terrible for
Maggie. Her previous births were all
natural, swift and free of complications.
Here we are on the day we've all been waiting for and she’s got two holes in her
hand, she’s hooked up to a drug that’s forcing her body into doing something it’s
not ready for and from what we can tell, the contractions are not happening in
her uterus where they should be. Again,
my mind started wandering through various worst case scenarios. No! I can’t bear to witness Maggie in such pain
for hours. What else can we do to make this happen with the least amount of
intervention? Why won’t they just put
the monitor down low!? Why can’t
anything just go as planned?!
In the midst of these terrible thoughts racing through my
head, Midwife Leah and Nurse Karen enter the room with a cart of items wrapped
in sterile blue packaging. They’re both
calm but quickly begin rearranging the room and unwrapping items on the cart. One of them turned on the heat lamp over the
baby’s exam table and it became crystal clear that something big was about to
happen. Jim and Maggie shortly returned
to the room in full blown labor.
The baby nurse and the OB resident join us as Maggie’s
breathing through some seriously painful contractions. I’ve never seen a live birth before so at
Maggie’s suggestion a few months back, I watched the Business of Being Born. I’ll
have you know that watching a birth in person is SO VERY DIFFERENT than watching Rikki
Lake moan in a tub. I don’t know Rikki on
a personal level, I don’t know of her pain tolerance and it really had no
emotional impact on me to watch her deliver a baby. Maggie, on the other hand, was experiencing
such severe pain that her entire body was shaking through each contraction. No one else in the room (well, except for
Benny maybe) saw this as abnormal but I just couldn’t get my head around how
incredibly painful this must’ve been for her.
My heart was hurting for her and I couldn’t believe she actually
volunteered to experience all of this pain and suffering for us. The reward for her pain was going to be taken
from her and handed to me. I felt awful
in that moment. How incredibly selfish of me? I
am a monster.The next few moments are a blur because it all happened so quickly. Nurse Karen grabbed me and told me I needed to get in the Johnny immediately. I stripped off my clothes as fast as possible while Maggie growled through another contraction. I was cold in the Johnnie and started shivering uncontrollably. My emotions were more than I could handle and I began to sob. I wept for Maggie having to experience this pain and for Jim who had to witness and support his soul mate through one of life’s most painful experiences.
When Leah said it was time to push I lost my breath. Every emotion surged through me in anticipation of what was about to happen. I had long feared the moment of birth. Would BGJ come out alive? Would she have to be massaged and suctioned to life? Would something awful happen to Maggie? But then, just as soon as Leah told her to push, Sunnie Violet Jacobs was born. Our precious baby girl came out screaming with one arm extended by her head, her hand clenched in a fist. She was a beautiful pink color and absolutely perfect. They laid her on Maggie’s belly, she and I tightly grasped hands, Benny cut the cord and we all cheered in celebration. Tears streamed down my face and the best sense of relief I've ever felt in my life washed over me.
The baby nurse wrapped her in warm blankets and handed her
to me. So tiny, so alert, so mine. She
grabbed onto my finger and looked directly up at me with big dark eyes for what
seemed like an eternity. All of the
worry, pain and stress that accumulated over the last nine months melted away
in those moments. Sunnie Violet was
here, Maggie was ok, none of the worst case scenarios happened and our
lives had never been more perfect.
In the time that followed, Maggie delivered the placenta and
got cleaned up. Sunnie Violet was
weighed, measured and put through the standard newborn routine. While time continued to go on outside of our little birthing room, it stood still on the inside. I had just witnessed the single, most amazingly beautiful experience I will ever have. We savored each moment during the hour or two that followed, oohing and ahhing over our tiny miracle baby. Our world was forever changed for the
better; our hearts full of love and gratitude.
Forever indebted, forever blessed.
