The Birth Story: Intended Parent Perspective (post by jessi)

For the past nine months, I debated whether or not to assign Maggie’s text tone to something unique so that I could easily distinguish her texts from others.  Part of me wanted to know right away if it was Maggie texting so I could drop everything to read and respond but the other part of me feared the brief moment between hearing her text tone and reading the message where I would undoubtedly jump to the worst case scenario in my deranged, anxiety-ridden mind.  Irrational, I know but this is what happens when a control freak has been out of control for such a high-stakes experience. 

Saturday before the membrane sweep, Benny and I went to our friends 40^th birthday party in Underhill where AT&T service is practically nonexistent.  I instructed Maggie to contact the host of the party in case she needed to reach me.  While there, I finally decided (with some help from my friends) that it was time to assign Maggie a special text tone.  We picked out the most loud, obnoxious tone available – it sounds like a pinball machine on crack. 

As Maggie had mentioned in her birth story post, the induction process started on Monday, November 3^rd.  And yes, I was sitting in the corner while the midwife scraped her fingers between the cervix wall and amniotic sac.  This was our first real experience with birth pain during the pregnancy.  I imagined it must’ve felt like the most horrible pain in the world.  I had flashbacks to the pain I experienced while having my first IUD placed and couldn’t help but hold my breath during the 10 second countdown.  It’s what I would’ve done if it were me on the exam table.  Maggie says it was no big deal, but I’m pretty sure that’s because she has the pain tolerance of a super ninja warrior.

Later that evening, the screeching pinball machine noise went off and Maggie let us know that she had a couple of contractions about 20 minutes apart; it could be nothing or it could be early labor.  She suggested we try to get some rest now because if the contractions become more productive, it would be in the middle of the night.  Following her suggestion, Ben and I went to bed immediately after this text exchange.  As you already know by now, the contractions stopped and then showed up again on Thursday but eventually petered out again that evening.  After an entire week of going to bed early and sleeping lightly with my phone two inches from my head it was finally induction day. 

Benny and I headed to the hospital Friday morning.  When we arrived, Nurse Karen greeted us, showed us to our birthing room and commented about how we could be there for days.  Benny and I looked at each other in shock because up to this point, no one had ever told us that the induction could take days.  Maggie and Jim showed up quickly thereafter and assured Nurse Karen that “No, it would not take days.  I’m already 5cm.”  The look on Karen’s face told me she was still skeptical.

Due to our unique situation, the hospital was flexible about the number of people allowed in the room.  Naturally, we took advantage of this and invited Kacie from Mini MiPhotography to help document the day for us.  For the next 3 hours or so, we hung out in the birthing room snacking, looking out from our 5^th floor window, watching rain turn to snow and then back to rain again.  We took turns leaving the room (only 2 at a time, per Nurse Karen), visited the kitchen for refreshments, watched funny YouTube videos and passed the time with lighthearted small talk.  Eventually, we got bored and since none of the labor-inducing antics had jumpstarted activity, we agreed to try the vitamin P.   

Just as Nurse Karen was about to start the pit drip, she discovered that Maggie’s IV wasn’t flowing as smoothly as she’d like.   Karen decided to put another IV in, this time in the hand opposite from where all the medical equipment was.   The IV lines were now across her body, complicating her positioning as well as each move in and out of the bed.  I began to quietly panic thinking that the new IV wouldn’t flow nicely either.  Would they have to stick her yet again?  What if the vitamin P doesn’t go as planned?  What if this turns into an emergency situation?  Why is my imagination running wild?  There's no time to think rationally.  Everybody panic!

Just like Maggie’s account, the contractions started but at first they were mild.  At least, that’s what the monitors on her belly were showing.  The contraction monitor was placed up high on her belly because Nurse Karen needed to measure how the top of her uterus was squeezing – because technically, they’re supposed to start up high in order to push the baby down.  The problem was, however, that Maggie wasn’t experiencing the contractions up high but down low instead.  I remember staring at the monitor each time she had a contraction and the disappointment I felt when the lines barely moved.  I cannot even begin to describe how frustrating it was to watch the pain of contractions not register appropriately on the monitoring equipment.  As some time passed and the contractions became more uncomfortable to sit through, Maggie decided to walk through her contractions so she and Jim headed to the hallway.  Benny, Kacie and I remained in the room and I began peppering Kacie (who’s had 3 children) with questions.   “How long could Maggie have contractions 2-3 minutes apart?” I asked.   She replied, “Hours, it could go on for hours.”  Suddenly, I felt so very terrible for Maggie.  Her previous births were all natural, swift and free of complications.  Here we are on the day we've all been waiting for and she’s got two holes in her hand, she’s hooked up to a drug that’s forcing her body into doing something it’s not ready for and from what we can tell, the contractions are not happening in her uterus where they should be.  Again, my mind started wandering through various worst case scenarios.  No!  I can’t bear to witness Maggie in such pain for hours. What else can we do to make this happen with the least amount of intervention?  Why won’t they just put the monitor down low!?  Why can’t anything just go as planned?!

In the midst of these terrible thoughts racing through my head, Midwife Leah and Nurse Karen enter the room with a cart of items wrapped in sterile blue packaging.  They’re both calm but quickly begin rearranging the room and unwrapping items on the cart.  One of them turned on the heat lamp over the baby’s exam table and it became crystal clear that something big was about to happen.  Jim and Maggie shortly returned to the room in full blown labor. 

The baby nurse and the OB resident join us as Maggie’s breathing through some seriously painful contractions.  I’ve never seen a live birth before so at Maggie’s suggestion a few months back, I watched the Business of Being Born.  I’ll have you know that watching a birth in person is SO VERY DIFFERENT than watching Rikki Lake moan in a tub.  I don’t know Rikki on a personal level, I don’t know of her pain tolerance and it really had no emotional impact on me to watch her deliver a baby.  Maggie, on the other hand, was experiencing such severe pain that her entire body was shaking through each contraction.  No one else in the room (well, except for Benny maybe) saw this as abnormal but I just couldn’t get my head around how incredibly painful this must’ve been for her.  My heart was hurting for her and I couldn’t believe she actually volunteered to experience all of this pain and suffering for us.  The reward for her pain was going to be taken from her and handed to me.  I felt awful in that moment.  How incredibly selfish of me?  I am a monster.
The next few moments are a blur because it all happened so quickly.  Nurse Karen grabbed me and told me I needed to get in the Johnny immediately.  I stripped off my clothes as fast as possible while Maggie growled through another contraction.  I was cold in the Johnnie and started shivering uncontrollably.  My emotions were more than I could handle and I began to sob.  I wept for Maggie having to experience this pain and for Jim who had to witness and support his soul mate through one of life’s most painful experiences. 

When Leah said it was time to push I lost my breath.  Every emotion surged through me in anticipation of what was about to happen.  I had long feared the moment of birth.  Would BGJ come out alive?  Would she have to be massaged and suctioned to life?  Would something awful happen to Maggie?  But then, just as soon as Leah told her to push, Sunnie Violet Jacobs was born.  Our precious baby girl came out screaming with one arm extended by her head, her hand clenched in a fist.  She was a beautiful pink color and absolutely perfect.  They laid her on Maggie’s belly, she and I tightly grasped hands, Benny cut the cord and we all cheered in celebration.  Tears streamed down my face and the best sense of relief I've ever felt in my life washed over me.     

The baby nurse wrapped her in warm blankets and handed her to me. So tiny, so alert, so mine.  She grabbed onto my finger and looked directly up at me with big dark eyes for what seemed like an eternity.  All of the worry, pain and stress that accumulated over the last nine months melted away in those moments.  Sunnie Violet was here, Maggie was ok, none of the worst case scenarios happened and our lives had never been more perfect.    

In the time that followed, Maggie delivered the placenta and got cleaned up.  Sunnie Violet was weighed, measured and put through the standard newborn routine.  While time continued to go on outside of our little birthing room, it stood still on the inside.  I had just witnessed the single, most amazingly beautiful experience I will ever have.  We savored each moment during the hour or two that followed, oohing and ahhing over our tiny miracle baby.  Our world was forever changed for the better; our hearts full of love and gratitude.  Forever indebted, forever blessed.