Next

Facebook messenger and Google+ have alerted me that it has been a month since we posted anything new. I'm not sure if I sure start with a list of excuses which would include but not be limited too;

**I was super pissed that the last transfer didn't work and didn't have anything nice to say so I said nothing at all.
**I have a two and a half year old and a 5 year old and I was busy preparing/enjoying/recovering from Christmas.
**My two and a half year old chose the week before Christmas to stop going to bed at night, so I actually have had approximately Zero moments of free-time to write/clean/do anything as I spend anywhere from 1-3 hours helping him fall asleep and/or putting him back to bed.  This kid is soooooo stubborn that he will climb down the stairs and over the baby gate that was installed at the bottom of the stairs just to show his resistance. The gate has since been removed (baby gate for sale?).
**We were undecided about what to do next, so it was difficult to know which direction the blog should take us.
**I got the flu.

It took me about a week to really convince myself that it was not my failure. That I didn't do anything wrong. That my body isn't insufficient or unable respond. I never had any fertility issues with my own kids. I basically thought, "Gee, I would sure like to be pregnant" and the next thing I knew...But this is not working for some reason. Nobody really knows why. And that needs to be ok. Because it could work next time.

I saw one of my cousins over the weekend who is a writer. He is a big important writer who writes for big important people (read: a lawyer who writes for lawyers) and when I told him that I was writing a blog he said I needed to write more often. Like every couple of days so my readers know what I'm thinking all of the time. In the past few weeks, there have been many moments where people ask me what is going on and I look down and then mumble something about trying again and moving forward and meds and whatnot.  This is unacceptable! I have got to get my gumption back and really embrace that this was not a failure but just another turn in the road.

So here is a rededication. I will stop making excuses for why I'm not writing and we will tell this story as we intended to tell it. For now, here is the quick and dirty:

We are back to a fresh transfer, where my body needs to get on Jessi's cycle. So I'm back on the       birth control and will likely start the Lupron shots by the end of the week. I'm anxiously awaiting a friendly phone call with Freedom Pharmacy! I sure hope they are useless again! Jessi is getting ready to bulk up on her synthetic hormones and we are pulling for a great big egg dump this go 'round. I hope Ben is up for the challenge! We anticipate that the next transfer will take place mid to late February. We will keep you posted with our gripes, complaints and hilarity. Stay tuned!