Setting up our Breastaurant (post by Jessi)

At one of our required mental health appointments (you know, to validate that neither party to the Baby Jacobs Project was insane or coerced), the therapist mentioned that breastfeeding could be an option for me.  I explained that due to my heart condition, supplemental hormones to trick my body into lactating would probably not be in my best interest.  She said, “You don’t need hormones, it’s possible to induce lactation naturally.”  We were all surprised at this news.  Apparently, if you’re female and have a properly functioning pituitary gland, you can produce milk.  Sorry, Focker.

So what does naturally inducing lactation look like?  In one word:  commitment.   Everyone knows the benefits and all of the reasons why breast is best but just exactly what is involved in getting your body to do this in the absence of pregnancy?  Most online resources I’ve found read something like this:

The major drawbacks of induced lactation mainly involve the time and effort required to be successful. Stimulating the production of milk requires huge dedication and commitment, as breast pumping and stimulation needs to be performed 6 to 12 times a day, including night-time sessions which involve waking up in the early a.m.

6-12 times a day?  Ok, I guess that makes sense.  I can handle that and continue to research.

You will probably experience fatigue and increased hunger, as your body believes it is eating for two. You should increase your calorie intake by about 200 calories per day, but try to make healthy food choices in order to minimize weight gain.

Ha!  I’m definitely NOT going to increase my caloric intake, I’m taking this lactation train to skinny city.  Go on, tell me more.

If you decide to go down the breast pump only route (no hormones), you will need to begin pumping at least two months before the arrival of the baby. You will need to set a strict schedule, pumping every 2 to 3 hours, for 15 to 20 minutes at a time.  You will also need to include at least one night time pumping session, as your body's natural prolactin levels are highest between 1 am and 5am, so it's important to take advantage of this fact.

Pfft, big deal!  I can do this.  Might as well get a head start on my disrupted sleep cycle early, right?  

And then it gets weird.

If your baby has not yet arrived, you can still use the suckling method to induce lactation - you just need to get your partner to do it instead. This requires a huge commitment from both partners, but can be quite effective and can actually create a deeper connection between the two of you. It is essential that your partner learns the correct latching on and suckling technique, and that you stick to a strict schedule.

Alrighty then!  Yeah, um, no.  I think we’ll let the baby suckle and if the milk doesn’t come in, we’ll switch to formula.