Let's Talk About Sex, I mean, Gestational Surrogacy, Baby!

So, let’s get started. When you want to grow your friends baby there are just a few things you need to do get started.  First you need to have your weekly unit meeting with your co-workers to explain that you will be gone for the rest of the day so that you can learn about what to do in order to have someone else’s baby. Secondly, you have to go to the lab where they take your blood to ensure that you are not pregnant with your own baby and that you have no communicable diseases (if I had a dime for every time I’ve been asked if Jim is truly my only partner at this time….). Next, you must go get a sonohysterogram to “evaluate your uterine cavity” which I’m pretty sure is a-ok because you also already had to have babies before you begin this process.  NBD-The radiologist uses a speculum to crank that sucker open and insert a very small tube through the cervix and into the uterus. A small amount of water solution is then injected which is what is visible by ultrasound. During the examination you may feel cramping similar to that of a menstrual cycle.. A little iodine, “You’ll feel my hand….this is the speculum…..quick pinch and….”

BAM-there’s a picture of your uterus:

                              

I know what you are thinking-This is a

bit much. Well, get used to it. If you haven’t been a part of the pregnancy

and birth process and you are not sure

that you want to be a part of it, this may not be the blog for you. Or maybe

you are thinking, “Damn, Maggie, that’s a good looking uterus.” In which case I would say, “we all have one perfect part of ourselves.” Jessi’s got

her ovaries, Ben’s got his sperm count, Jim's got his patience and I’ve

got my uterus.

Moving on-Next you meet with the “high-risk pregnancy team” so that they can make sure that you are a “good candidate” for gestational surrogacy--

• 2 kids-Check. 
• Stable marriage-Check. 
• No outstanding health concerns-Check.  
• Previous normal and uncomplicated natural births where the result was that both Mama and babies were totally healthy-Check. 

So, then the doctor asked me what my weight gain for my other two children was like, to which I replied, well with my first I was about 25 pounds heavier at the start than I am now and gained around 40 pounds and with my second I gained about 30 or so. This doctor then advised that based on my current weight, that we would shoot for a 15 pound weight gain during the impending pregnancy. Well, this is what I would say to her if I could go back in time: 

Really? Weren’t you listening? My other two births were totally fine and EVERYONE was healthy. I don’t eat McDonald’s or foods high in saturated fats. I barely even eat food that has been processed. I exercise frequently and even teach some fitness classes. I did Zumba until 37 weeks in my last pregnancy and I couldn’t wait to get back to working out. I can guarantee that I will gain more than 15 pounds-unless there is, infact something complicating about this pregnancy. Don’t “advise” me to only gain 15 pounds. How about you advise me to be healthy and mindful about what I put in my body and to continue to exercise? If I stop caring about myself and my body during this process, someone should talk to me, but otherwise, let’s just let me be in control of my health. Jessi would not have chosen to take me up on this offer if she anticipated that there would be a complication due to excessive weight gain. We got this Doc.

And finally, head on over to the IVF Clinic to meet Dr. Davenport and Monique Van Leuven (Mo), RN, Egg Donor Coordinator. This is where they discuss the details, hand you a blue folder, and explain the other mandatory meetings you will have to attend in order to move forward.  Mo is truly THE COORDINATOR. She is basically the boss of all of us. She tells us where to go when, she calls in prescriptions, she gives us reminders and crosses our t’s and dots our i’s.  She arranged the schedule for the day I’ve just described to you so that I could actually get it all done in one day. Also, she’s funny-which is necessary for this crew.  So, as we move forward, we will be referring to her a lot. At least in the beginning.  And if you ever want to grow your friends baby, you will too.

We rounded out the day with a quick trip to the Lawyer's office where Mr. Hughes whipped up a quick "Contract Between A Genetic Father, An Intended Mother, A Gestational Carrier and a Gestational Carrier's Husband":  

WHEREAS, the Intended parents wish to have the Gestational Carrier 

carry and bear a child by having implanted into her uterus, via an assisted 

reproduction procedure (the “embryo transfer”) an embryo or embryos from 

the Intended Mother which have been fertilized with sperm from the Intended Father via in vitro fertilization (“IVF”); and that's when shit got real.