What? Why?

Here’s what I did today:

I woke up and I got dressed and I helped get my two beautiful children Zoey and Emmet dressed. Zoey just turned 5 and she just started kindergarten. She loves it, but she hates getting dressed. Everything hurts and is uncomfortable and she kicks and screams when she puts her cotton leggings on. Someone puts "spikes" in those pants. I want to pull my hair out and every. Single. Day. That I forget to make her pick clothes out the night before I swear I will never make that mistake again. So after fighting with her for 20 minutes about her teeny tiny children's clothing and making threats about how I will never ever buy her anything new again if she doesn’t learn to

appreciate what she has because there are kids who don’t even have clothes to choose from (deep breath), we went down stairs and we ate breakfast and we got ready to leave for the bus.   Somewhere in the middle Emmet peed on the potty for the second time in his life (which is a super big deal for those of you who are not aware of the potty training trials and tribulations)!

Then my darling husband left for work and the three of us, Emmet, Zoey and I walked to the bus stop where Zoey kissed both Emmet and I and left us waving on the corner. Emmet, who is a 2 ½ year old rambunctious bottle of boy waved and yelled, “bye Zoey” after the bus as it drove away.  Emmet, with a race car and one hand, held my hand as I, with my coffee in the other walked back to the car where I drove him to daycare. Exclaiming as I said goodbye, "Emmet peed on the potty again, yay!" The daycare teachers were equally as excited-sidenote: daycare and preschool teachers are some of the best people on the planet! They are excited about toileting, have the patience of monks and build amazing foundations for learning for our children!!

As I started my workday I read a text from my supervisor that stated that my co-worker’s father had died in his sleep the previous night and he was headed to his hometown to work on the next steps. I cried as I thought of all that he would have to take on-all that he would have to arrange and prepare, all of this while dealing with the sadness and multitude of feelings that accompany someone in your life dying. All of the, I nevers and if only’s and I wish’s. How sad. I can't stand it when people I care about have to be so sad and there is so little I can do. I feel so helpless.

Next, I attended an adoption. By day, I’m a social worker for the Department for Children and Families and my job includes making decisions about terminating parental rights, attending court proceedings for these matters, placing children in permanent living situations and being blessed with the opportunity to attend adoptions for those children so that they can become permanent members of new families where the parents are able and willing to love and care for them, to keep them safe and to remain committed to them forever-some kids call them “forever families”. This particular kid had been in the custody of the state for far too long….years…..before I even worked there and all that kid wanted was to be adopted. The birth parent did not want this and tried to prevent it from happening, but the kids best interests prevailed and the system was able to ensure that she could be adopted just before her 18th birthday. This young lady flitted around the court room happy as a clam. When the judge entered and sat down and greeted her, she burst into tears. Her imminently adopted parents both reached out for her and the judge asked if she was okay. She replied, “I’m just so happy.”

I then picked my 2 year old up from daycare and rushed home to turn the crock pot off and rush back out the door to my daughter’s soccer game, where my darling husband is the coach. This consists of 8-10 kindergartner’s running around a field in a clump toward a ball, not caring in which direction they are kicking. I watched this from waaaay across the playground and field where I am forced by my insistent 2 year old to push him on the swing-first the big then the baby then the big then the baby. Higher. Higher. Can I go higher mommy?  Approximately 1 hour later we all headed home where we put the final touches on our crock pot meal while Emmet screamed at the top of his lungs for no reason and Zoey begged me to play with her while I promised that dinner would be ready in just a minute. Once that became true, Zoey refused to sit at the table and told me that dinner was “annoying” and that she “hated” rice. What? Nobody hates rice. Kindergarten vocabulary is “annoying” and I “hate” it.

Bedtime came and my darling husband and I divided and conquered based on time constraints. Zoey asked me to put her to bed while Daddy put Emmet down. Zoey asked me to sing to her and I did, as always. She asked for “Rows and Flows” which can be interpreted to “Both Sides Now” by Joni Mitchell. I sang and she was asleep by the end of the song. I looked at her and wished that time would slow down, or even stop just for a minute. Because it’s true what they say, once kids are in school they grow up so fast and then…..just like that…..I laid there for a few more moments watching her, feeling lucky to be her mom. Then I tucked her in, kissed her nose and closed the door.

So that’s why I know this is the right thing to do. Because everyone deserves to love someone that much. Everyone should have someone to take care of them once they have left this earth. Every soul deserves a parent that was meant to be theirs. Everyone deserves to be happy.