Wednesday, October 30, 2013

An Open Letter to Jessi on My Birthday

(How very Sinead of me!)

Dear Jessi,

Since it's my birthday, I've had the opportunity to reflect a bit and I've decided to impart some of my wisdom as a parent. Your birthday is right around the corner (December 4th) and I want to give you some friendly advice. Enjoy this birthday. Relish it. Remember it always. It's glory. It's simplicity. It's serenity. Because it will never happen again.

First, don't set your alarm.  Wake up whenever you want. To the sound of the wind blowing, or birds singing or some peaceful crap like that.  Because from now on, you'll be squinching your eyes shut, trying to pretend that you can't hear the shrill noise of your child/ren screaming for you while their father tries to keep them from waking you. You will wish you were sleeping in, but you just won't be able to.

When you do peacefully wake up, let Benny bring you coffee and then read a trashy magazine in bed for like an hour or something. Then throw the magazine on the floor and leave it there all day, because you won't have to shield it from innocent eyes that might mistake the airbrushed quality of the pictures for beauty.

If it's a work day, leisurely get yourself ready and when it's time to walk out the door. Just stroll on out. Start your car and check your Facebook real quick while you wait for it to warm up.  In the future, you will get to soothe/convince your 5 year old that she won't have to ride bus 23  around town again and that it will drop her off at dance. What? She doesn't want to go to dance? Oh, no big deal. Just explain to her that you are really sorry that you have to work so late and you wish she could come home right after school too, only she can't because you need to have a job. When she tells you she doesn't care, you should respond that it's your birthday and that she has to care. That TOTALLY works with the 5 year old crowd!

Take care of just you all day long. Get a massage, a pedicure, go to a workout class, have a nice lunch, maybe a little shopping.  Next year you will get to do one of those things. Only one.

Have Ben take you out to a delicious, classy dinner. Or have him make you one. Eat slowly. Savor every bite and have a nice bottle of wine. Gaze into Ben's eyes while he tells you how lucky he is to get to be marrying YOU! Because you are pretty awesome, despite your duct tape addiction! If you're out to dinner, make sure he picks up the bill. If you're at home make sure he does the dishes.  During the next phase of your life, as your children are providing entertainment at the dinner table and inadvertently knock over there drink and you jump up to get a towel or when you're trying to help get the food on the table, or the children prepared to eat, Ben will try and encourage you to sit back and relax, but you will know that it's just easier for you both to be working together to get this done.

I love my children so very much and all of the responsibilities that go with them, but there is something to be said about those days when you can do nothing but take care of yourself. So do that now.  Do it while you can. Your children will be the best thing that ever happened to you. You will love them more than you ever thought you could possible love. And you will fondly remember the moments where you were number one.

Love you girl! So happy I can be your baby holder!
Maggie XO

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