PERIOD ALERT

So I was sitting on my couch one Friday night, as most parents of young children tend to do         and I was thinking about what I would write for my next post when I received this string of emails titled "PERIOD ALERT:

From: Jessica Holcomb

to: Van Leuven, Me

Hi, 

This is perhaps the most awkward email I've ever written but I'm supposed to let you know that I started spotting this evening.  This is about 23-25 days from my last period (can't remember the exact date but you should have it in Davenports notes). Can you just double check the timing in case we can start sooner?

Let's get this show on the road!

Jessi

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From: Van Leuven
To: Jessica Holcomb, Me

Hi ladies!

At the risk of adding to the awkwardness... Do you usually just have spotting with periods or do you get heavier bleeding? If this is all you get, then we may be able to move your cycle up a bit!

I'll touch base with you Monday and we can figure out when to start Maggie's Lupron and switch you to the Lovenox. Very exciting!!!

Have a great weekend!
Sent from my iPhone

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From: Jessica Holcomb
To: Van Leuven, Me

Haha! I see your awkward question and I raise you an awkward answer!  It's usually just spotting, sometimes its consistent spotting through the course of my period and other times I spot for a day or two, stop for a day or two and then start again but all at the same level of spottiness.  Maybe once or twice per year I have a heavier flow somewhere in the middle of my cycle but I can't predict it with any rhyme or reason.

I can come in for an ultrasound Monday starting at 12 or anytime after.

Fingers crossed! Have a good weekend too!

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To which I reply:

From: Maggie

To: Holcomb, Van Leuven

Bwahahaha. I totally thought this was spam. Just was talking about another blog post and then saw this! Then told Jim I was reading an email thread from you two, to which he replied: "did she start her flow? Is she spotting?" You can't make this stuff up.

Sent from my iPhone

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Jim consulting the "timeline"

Now, I could certainly stop writing now because if you are like me, you have been thoroughly entertained and could move on to watching mindless television for an hour, only to retire to your bed where you read somewhere between 2 and 10 pages of your book before calling it quits and falling into 2-4 increments of sleep, broken up by children crying/being cold/being hot/feeling scared and a good old game of musical beds in which it is likely you will lose by waking up in a bed that you did not go to sleep in, but I think it's important for us to take a moment to talk about my luck in finding a partner like Jim.

When I tell people about being a Gestational Surrogate their first question is, "do you think you will be okay with giving the baby away after carrying it for all that time?" I explain that I simply don't see it that way. That I'm not "giving the baby" away because it was never mine. I'm just holding it for my friends while they can't. It's their baby. It's not my genetic makeup. It's not mine. I'm the home, the host, the incubator. 

The second question I typically get is "how does Jim feel about this." Not one single person has been surprised to hear that Jim is completely on board and has been totally amazing about this. Because everyone who knows Jim knows that he is a kind, caring and wonderful human being. He is great at everything he does (except housework, being organized and remembering to buy me flowers. Ever.).  

First of all, he is a Special Educator for 7th and 8th graders. A job where you must be a Saint. Have you ever met 7th and 8th graders? They are basically the worst. Not only are they miserable, mean and moody because their hormones are out of control, but they also smell terrible for the same reason. That and they haven't quite figured out the perfect, nay adequate self-care needed to prevent their impenetrable stench. Jim chose to work with this vile population. And he likes it.

Jim's parenting skills seem to come naturally and he has talked me down off of every proverbial parenting cliff I have been on the edge of.  Jim is able to help manage my laissez-faire attitude about being on time by bringing coffee to our room every weekday morning in order to help me get up by 6. Spoiled you say? I think so, but Jim is also brilliant because he strategically places the coffee across the room on my dresser so that I must actually rise up if I want my coffee to be hot when I drink it!

Also, NEWSFLASH: Jim Married Me. So, he must be something special because each time I suggest we move; we have a baby; I go to grad school; he go to grad school; we move again; we have another baby; we build an addition; I get a second job as a fitness instructor; he coach Zoey's soccer team; we go on a week and half long vacation with my family; or we become gestational surrogates for our friends.....he is always willing to have a thoughtful, meaningful conversation about it where he considers the impact on our family and helps make a decision that we know will make our lives richer.  I feel blessed beyond belief to have a partner as loyal and supportive as Jim. I'll quote my dear uncle Larry who once said: "Jim is the glue that holds this family together." And I think you'll agree.